Motherhood with Boys

I got this. Lies we tell ourselves as mothers.

IMG_9984copy-2How many times have you gotten onto facebook. Looked at a blog. Streamed instagram… watched a youtuber… and left feeling less than… frustrated.. unable… and at times angry. Wishing you could do more. Do better. Wanting to be more like someone else. Less you. Wishing you were able to do all of what they do and some. Wanting a better, prettier home, because the beauty of others online, seems so much better. Clean. Trendy. Desiring aspects of other peoples life, based on images on a feed.

I can be the first to say, yes. That has been me.

I have been the one insecure of who I am because of what someone else looks like, does or doesn’t do.

Defeated because I can’t seem to fit all of what they do in a day.

I have been the one who wants to go spend, because I want a room, look, that another has.

I’m the one who felt guilty, beating myself up… for feeding my kid frozen chicken nuggets and mac and cheese from a box. While so and so, never ever did this…. or I passed the latest healthy recipe of another mom, as their kids eat salad and seeds.

Why do we consume ourselves constantly with what others have.

What others do?

How they live.

We don’t compare our kids (or shouldn’t). Yet we constantly compare ourselves and our life.

Measuring our worth based on anothers.

I found myself very much defeated.
IMG_0225Frustrated with the dumbest possible things. Candy wrappers on the ground (lets just say the candy is gone now). Chores not done… yet little ones knowing they need to be done. A desire to workout, yet not one moment of silence or alone time to get it done. Yet feeling as if I should be able to do ALL this and more, because others seem to do it all.

Why must we multi-task 24/7 ? Should we feel the need to constantly be doing, so we can do all of what others do?

Where and how do we measure our worth?

Today I have regrets. Will make apologizes… and look forward to a new day, where I can start over again.

I am there today. Those who’ve been there, know how that is.

We all have those days.

Weeks.

sometimes, months. Where we feel as if all we do is struggle.

We all need forgiveness. Sometimes even from our kids.

We all need times to vent to a best friend.

To share our frustration with our spouse.

To be honest with our children and let them know, you know what. Mommy is struggling today…

So, today. We can make a decision to stop the influence. Shutting off the constant feed from the world of social media… or rethinking who we follow… does it encourage you? or discourage you? focusing on what I can do as a mother… not what I feel “I SHOULD” be able to do, because so and so does it…

Teaching my boys to love each other… and to show honor… using those moments of total frustration and strife, to teach them the desire God has for them in these moments. As they grow and I.

Love must be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. Show family affection to one another with brotherly love. Out do one another in showing honor.” – Romans 12:9-10

I am not perfect.

I do not have it all together… and at times I feel guilty even posting photos on instagram, pretending as if we do. I hope If anything, I can be genuine to the world, to help other mothers know, they are not alone… and that we as mothers do struggle. That we cannot compare ourselves to other mothers, measuring our worth based on all we do.

Thankful for grace.

Mercy.

New days.

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